Itchy, itchy.
Posted by Misses H. , Saturday, December 18, 2010 5:44 PM
Scratchy, scratchy.
I have an itch that cannot be scratched. Not a real itch. Although, I'd welcome a real itch. Slather on a little calamine and away I go. This however, will only take time. And while time is all I have, I've also already spent a lot of time on this. And a lot of energy. And thought. And how about I just get to it already?
I made a big decision the other day. It's time for outside help. I'm looking for someone to knock me up. Er, Reproductive Endocrinologist (infertile speak: RE) , here we come! This is huge. YOUGE! Only, not yet. I have to find the guy first. I'm kind of a pioneer in this, personally. I feel like picking an RE is a REALLY big deal. They all aspire to accomplish the same thing: get people pregnant. But I want The RE. The best ever. How do I figure that out? The other people that I pretend to know read about, who have RE's of their very own, live in other states. First on the agenda: Research! Then there's the seeing the old doctor. And getting my medical/surgical records. And family history. On and on.
But now that this decision has been made, I'm ready.
I'm also sort of freaking out already. I have quite a bit to look forward to in the near future. Ultrasounds, bloodwork, hormones, needles in my stomach, mood swings, bloat, needles in my thighs, acne, more ultrasounds, needles in my rear, debt, more bloodwork. Then some invasive, humiliating procedures for Mister and I both. And we're going to be paying out my bruised, track marked arse for this. And then maybe, MAYBE we'll get a kid out of it.
I tried as hard as I could. Then I tried as hard as I could to not try. Then I tried as hard as I could to pretend like I wasn't trying. And ultimately, everything I tried failed. Huge'r than huge, I've admitted defeat. Layed my pride down. I'm a prideful person. This is hard.
If nothing else, maybe I'll actually use this blog for it's intended purpose: Blogs! If I were to blog about our attempts it would go a little something like this:
Trying..
..Didn't happen again.
Trying..
..Didn't happen again.
Trying..
You get the picture. I like the idea of keeping an up-to-date blog but I'll be honest, I have no life. I bore myself reliving my life. Perhaps a couple rounds of IUI's or IVF will spice this place up.
Giddy up!
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Where does the King keep his armies?
In his sleevies.
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